The reason my left hand is swollen? It had an IV in it.
The reason it had an IV in it? I was in the hospital.
The reason I was in the hospital? Well, let me tell you!
The big, all-encompassing Model United Nations convened this weekend. I was signed on to supervise the UN Environmental Programme (yes, it has 2 m's). It was a good time and I learned a lot, such as that Iraq wants to fund projects in the Czech Republic, the Volga river is in Austria, and that Alaska is not part of the United States. The turning point of MY weekend, though was lunchtime where I ate, among other things, bean salad. I should have known. The beans were raw, the onion was raw, and the cilantro was raw. After the conference adjourned on Saturday night, I started to feel queasy. I made the 30 minute walk home, and, soon enough, I was looking at my lunch once again in a bucket. While taking a shower, I lost it again. Within 40 minutes of arriving home, I made the trudge down to the health centre where I vomited again in full view (and earshot) of a bunch of middle schoolers.
I should inform those of you who are ignorant that my vomiting is something to behold. There are unearthly noises and muscles I didn't know I had start to spasm. I also break blood vessels in my face, which last time it happened, impressed the doctor. Put "watching Greg vomit" on your list of things to do before you die.
Soon enough I was at the hospital, shivering uncontrollably in the ER as the doctors looked for a vein to put a needle in. Not finding one in my hand (I was too weak to make a fist), the doctors shaved a part of my arm to find a vein. They ended up going into my hand, leaving me with a bald half of my left arm.
Things got a lot less dramatic after I backed off of the brink of death. Basically, I had a combination of vomiting, nausea, headache, fever, infection-of-some-kind, the "runs," chills, sweats, and maybe temporary AIDS. One of those is my own non-professional diagnosis.
That's the 2nd story I've heard today about uncooked beans giving people a deathly illness. Good to know.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling better... I suppose it wouldn't be India without seeing at least 3% of your meals a 2nd time.
Blessings!
I laugh hard at this,but love you dearly. Hang in there bud! Temporary AIDS... wow.
ReplyDeleteGreg I love how funny you can make something that is so serious. I'm glad you are ok. I hope the swelling goes down soon. Maybe you can help me though, I'm not sure where to add "watch greg puke" to my things to do list. Should it go on the things to do before I'm 30 or things to do before I die?
ReplyDeleteIs it weird that I already had watching you puke on my list?? Maybe? I second Drew's comment and I'm sorry about your temporary AIDS. Love ya buddy.
ReplyDeleteSorry you got sick, Greg. Did you have to stay overnight in the hospital? Regarding you arm... can you comb over? Could you shave the rest to match?
ReplyDeleteEveryone has AIDS! Temporary AIDS! AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!
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